YOUR LONG AWAITED ATM CARD OF 1.5MILLION USD.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend!  Comments in red are just my goofy take on this email. Enjoy!
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Good day:

I am MR.AUTHUR SMITH FROM Dhl EXpress delivery Service

I have since been in custody of a parcel that contains an ATM CARD wort 1.5million united states dollars,that belongs to you. (How did you know what was in it, did you open my mail?? "Opening another persons mail is a Federal Offense. Even if person who delivers your mail keeps it or ceases to deliver that mail and keeps it can lose their job, receive a fine or be put in prison." You are in so much trouble when I get my package!)


The parcel was delivered to the DHL BRANCH OFFICE were i work as the manager,this parcel was on its way to your destination and it was been sent from ABUJA NIGERIA,the reason why the delivery of the parcel was not been completed to your destination was that ,the parcel has been ordered from the head office DHL NIGERIA AND ALSO LONDON to be stoped due to the reason that the tax CLEARANCE fees has not yet been settled by the SENDER AND all our effort to locate him or her has been in vain,so we reasoned that it will be better to contact you the receiver,since your sender left with us your information and also your email address to be in contact with you on delivery of the parcel to you,So the parcel was stoped because according to the dhl office in nigeria that any funds leaving there country that is above 200,000.00usd must have the tax clearance fees settled otherwise it will be taged as illegal funds. (So not only are you in trouble for holding my mail, you are in posession of illegal funds! Tisk tisk..)


But i have been instructed not to proceed with the delivery as at yet because you will need to settle the TAX CLEARANCE FEES ,that will be submited to the TAX CLEARANCE HEAD OFFICE IN ABUJA NIGERIA before the parcel can be released from my office to you. (Ever notice how so many people have "misplaced money" in Nigeria. I swear I have gotten hundreds of emails in my time letting me know I have unclaimed funds in Nigeria)


So before your parcel will proceed from canada to your destination ,you have been asked to send to them the total of 200usd ,in other for them to help acquire the form for the tax clearance and also have it submited and afterwords you will have your parcel forwarded to you again. (If the package was on its way from Nigeria to me in the USA, how did it end up in Canada?? Ok so how do I get this "form" i need for the tax clearance..hmm?)


You are required to send the total of 200usd to them in nigeria,as soon as you see this email to the information below via western union. (Wait, what happend to the form? Now I am just sending $200 dollars to Nigeria on good faith without a tax form? Can I write this off on my taxes??)



RECEIVERS NAME: Paul Adams
COUNTRY:NIGERIA
STATE:ABUJA
TEST QUESTION: RED
TEST ANSWER:BLUE
AMOUNT TO SEND:200USD



As soon as you have the Tax clearance fees SENT you are adviced to fill out the bellow western union details and email them the details to me on my personal email address (dhl-delivery32-service32@hotmail.com) or call them dirrectly on +2348039284683 to provide the bellow information to them. (DHL works with hotmail addresses now, how professional. Come to think of it, why am I emailing THEM the details of the money order to YOUR hotmail address, shouldnt I just contact them?)



MTCN..............
SENDERS NAME...............
SENDER COUNTRY...............



As soon as your payment has been comfirmed you will receive your tracking number so you can mornitor (with this 200 dollars will you go to your local college and take a spelling class for crying out loud!) your parcel until it arrives your destination but take note that it will only take 24hrs for us to deliver your ATM CARD to you,do not forget to send along your full mailing address.

If we do not receive your TAX CLEARANCE FEES IN 48HRS after this mail has been sent then the parcel will be forwarded to the FBI as unclaimed. (Well crap, I got this mail 3 days ago, now I guess the FBI can get new cars)

NOTE:IF YOU CAN NOT MAKE THE REQURIED PAYMENT DO NOT REPLY TO THIS EMAIL IN OTHERWORDS YOU ARE ADVICED TO DISREGARD THIS MAIL (What? I cant negotiate to make this in payments?)

Mr.AUTHUR SMITH

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*SIGH* What more can I say about this email other than the guy needs to learn to spell. I typo on occasion and forget or misplace a punctuation mark here and there but WOW. Stay in school kids.. PLEASE!